Low libido in men is a problem that’s not given the attention it needs. It is acceptable if you are not in the mood to have sex all the time. Sex drive has its crests and troughs. That said, if your libido is constantly at low levels, then the situation escalates into a chronic condition that requires treatment.
The reason for low libido, which we shall discuss in detail later on, is psychological and physical. Treating low sex drive requires a multi-pronged approach that caters to both physical and psychological symptoms. Without timely intervention and proper care, decreased sex drive interferes with your ability to enjoy life fully.
The positive aspect is that the situation is not totally out of your control. There is a lot that you can do to restore your sexual vigor. Let us look at the ways in which you can recharge your sex drive and reignite the passion in your love life.
1. Boost Your Testosterone Levels
A drop in testosterone levels leads to a loss of libido in men. Since aging corresponds to low testosterone, low libido in men over 50 is much more common than low libido in men over 40. Consult a general practitioner and get your testosterone levels checked.
Ask the doctor if those levels are healthy for a person of your age. If it is not, then get specific recommendations from your doctor. Some medications, such as medicines that treat high blood pressure, cause a drop in sexual desire. So, ask your doctor if there is any way to offset this negative impact.
Also, medical conditions, such as diabetes and obesity, decrease your desire to have sex. Your doctor can help you manage those conditions so that your sexual life is not severely debilitated. One thing that you absolutely must not do is address your lack of sex drive.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step to resolving it. Don’t worry – this will not make you a lesser man. On the contrary, this will boost your virility.
2. Manage Stress in Your Day to Day Life
Stress is an evolutionary mechanism that helped the cave man fight or flee from danger. Biologically, when circumstances stress you, the cortisol level in your body is elevated. Cortisol increases your heart rate and promotes enhanced brain function. This grants your body a temporary performance boost that helps you counter the danger.
However, your body is not meant to run on stress mode for a long time, because cortisol shuts down other biological functions in favor of increased brain performance. Your sex drive takes a beating, too; thus, if you are under chronic stress, your sex drive plummets.
Be it the workplace or home, your reduced sexual desire shows up as a decrease in performance in all aspects of your life. The effects of a man’s low libido are quite visible to those around him. The reason for this is that when an urge as powerful as your libido is subdued, other urges reflect this negative impact.
Thus, in a way, a drop in your libido reduces your drive and motivation to succeed in other endeavors. Consequently, you begin to fall short of other’s expectations, as well as your own. In turn, this causes more stress and hence you become the victim of a vicious cycle.
3. Adopt A More Physical Lifestyle
As you would readily attest, sexual intercourse is a demanding physical activity; therefore, a sedentary lifestyle goes hand in hand with decreased libido. Taking up a sport, going on regular walks, trekking trails and hitting the gym are excellent natural remedies that will spike your sex drive.
There are many benefits of adopting a more physical lifestyle.
Firstly, engaging in physical activities boosts your energy levels. You can pump all that extra energy into having a great tumble in the sheets.
Secondly, you can involve your partner in some of these activities to increase your connection and strengthen your bond. Sex becomes so much more pleasurable when you can connect with your partner at a deeper and more intimate level.
Lastly, your body becomes more attractive, and any inhibitions that you may have against getting naked reduces. These reasons combine together to provide a benefit that is greater than the sum of the parts.
4. Make Sure You Get Enough Rest
One big obstacle that stands between you and a great sex life is exhaustion. If you or your partner is too tired, you throw sex onto the back burner. You need a well-rested body to engage in sex. That is why a lack of sleep correlates directly with a lack of libido.
Now that you know that lack of sexual desire is a result of not getting enough rest, you can take simple steps to ensure that you get enough sleep. For instance, go to sleep 15 minutes earlier to begin with, and gradually increase the time until you are comfortable sleeping an hour earlier than you do usually.
In addition to that, practice meditation and breathing exercises that calm your mind. When you go to sleep with a calm mind, the quality of your sleep increases and you receive more rest from the same quantity of sleep. Also, consider upgrading your mattress if the current one does not provide enough support for your spine or it is not cozy enough.
5. Diagnose and Treat Symptoms of Depression
Depression is a medical condition in which a person is sad for a long period. Under the state of depression, you body’s biochemistry alters and depression manifests decreased sex drive as one of its symptoms.
Early signs of depression include feeling helpless, lack of interest in daily activities, reduced appetite, irritability, self-loathing, insomnia and erratic behavior. If you observe some or all these signs, then seek professional help.
A psychologist can help diagnose the condition, and a psychiatrist can help remedy it. Similarly, if you notice that your partner is exhibiting some of these symptoms, help themget the care and support needed. Your partner’s libido is tied to yours, so it is important that neither you nor your partner is psychologically unhealthy.
6. Make the Switch to Healthier Eating Habits
For instance, an increase in the consumption of refined foods leads to increase in cases of obesity and diabetes. Both these conditions are contributing factors to low libido. Switching to unrefined foods, such as eating whole-wheat bread instead of white bread, can prevent the onset of such conditions and help you maintain a healthy libido.
Also, the markets are flooded with products that claim to increase libido; however, such supplements to increase libido in men resolves erectile dysfunction to an extent, but does nothing to address the big picture. Educate yourself on healthy nutritional practices and make changes to your eating habits. Remember, lifetime positive changes trump over quick fix remedies any day.
7. Set Realistic Expectations About Your Performance
Ideally, each of your sexual encounters would leave you and your partner completely satisfied. In reality, this does not happen as frequently as you would like. This leaves you doubting your sexual prowess.
One reason why you may feel this way is the how sex is projected in mainstream media. Male sex icons paint a portrait of sexual relationships that far from real life. Take porn stars for example –directors shoot hardcore sex scenes in multiple takes. If the actors were to do it in one take, it would nearly kill them.
It is okay if you cannot hit a home run on every pitch. Set reasonable expectations because performance anxiety leads to loss of male libido. Accept that not all intercourses will leave her screaming for more, But at the same time, work towards improving your performance.
8. Use Your Imagination to Fire Up Your Sex Life
Sex therapists nowadays are encouraging couples to embrace their fantasies. Make belief role-plays and cosplays add a layer of novelty and spice up plain vanilla sex. Read erotic fiction with your partner to get some, “hey wouldn’t that be nice” ideas for role-plays.
Changing venues can work miracles, as well – why don’t you try the shower, the couch, the pool, or the bedroom floor next time? A healthy imagination combats low sex drive effectively. Plus, it’s a way to increase libido in men naturally.
Another great idea is to use games, such as strip poker, to put some more fun into your lovemaking. From time to time, you can redecorate your bedroom to suit a theme, say medieval castle, in order to rev up the experience.
Actively listen to your partner’s suggestions and don’t cover from putting forth your own. You can take turns acting out each other’s fantasies. One week you have secret agent sex and the next it is time for some sci-fi alien sex – whatever turns you on.
9. Build Anticipationto Enhance Libido
Loss of sexual desire in men sometimes is a result of viewing sex as a chore. Such a mundane point of view translates to lower sex drive. A foolproof way to remedy this situation is to schedule sex.
Plan an intercourse a week in advance. Once you have an intercourse planned for next Thursday, then you can make sure you get enough rest and get off from work on time. This helps prevent common excuses, such as “Honey I’m too tired tonight.” from wrecking your sex night.
Moreover, you can use the week to build the anticipation by teasing, titillating and tantalizing each other. For example, you can send each other texts with sexual innuendos, shop for sexy lingerie, flirt with each other, sneak kisses and hugs, or plan a mini getaway.
10. Make Love with Your Whole Body
Focusing attention on the genitals only dampens your sex drive. Instead, use your entire body to fight reduced sex drive. Women often complain that men don’t spend enough time on foreplay. Women take much longer to climax than men do.
An analogy from John Gray’s book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, explains this clearly – men are like blowtorches, which fire up instantly, and women are like ovens, which heat up slowly.
Next time, instead of going for the genitals immediately, stimulate her erogenous zones. For example, stimulate her breasts, massage her scalp, rub her toes, caress her abs or kiss her wrists. All this gets the juices flowing and allows for extremely satisfying intercourse.
11. Communicate With Your Partner
Let’s face it, at times life takes us for a ride and things become too overwhelming to think about sex. During such situations, your partner needs to understand the reason why you are withdrawing from sex.
Thus, when you have low sexual desire, talk to your partner about it. Explain to your partner what is bothering you and assure her that it is temporary. Periodical loss of sexual desire is usual. But, talking about it prevents the condition from becoming chronic.
Surprisingly, talking to someone about what’s bothering you might lighten the load and free you from the tension. It is equally important for you to be there for your partner. When the good times come, make the most of it, and when gloom sets in, know that it too shall pass.
Communicating openly with your partner helps you deal with the cycle without falling out of balance.
12. Treat Low Self Esteem to Negate Low Libido in Men
Poor self-worth, or having a negative opinion about yourself, contributes to loss of libido. When you see yourself as small and timid in the eyes of others and yourself, you feel as if you are not entitled to sexual satisfaction. You might also feel that your partner is too good for you; thus, you use every possible tool at your disposal to shy away from sex. Unfortunately, this makes the problem worse.
An amazing way to recover your self-esteem is to set goals. If you are out of shape, set a goal to do one push up every day for one week. After that, set another goal that you are certain you can achieve. Once you establish a streak, your image of yourself will improve. You can also try affirmation, meditation or self-hypnosis to free yourself from a negative self-image.
13. Expand Your Social Circle and Involvement
As the proverb goes – familiarity breeds contempt. Being in the comfort zone for too long causes low libido in men. That’s why it is important that you and your partner expand your social circle and participate in social engagements. Seeing your partner in a new light may instantly cure your lack of sex drive.
For instance, if you and your partner haven’t gone dancing in a long time, then sign up for some salsa lessons. The intimacy of the dance moves will spark sexual curiosity or reawaken latent desires.
Another fabulous idea is to go out with friends regularly so that your partner gets a chance to sport a new look, wear a new dress, put on jewelry, or show off her accessories. This makes her more attractive and sexy in your eyes. Seeing your wife wear a cocktail dress, when you are used to seeing her wear a T-shirt, can be a huge turn on.
14. Address Relationship Problems Immediately
For better or worse, the woman you married all those years ago is not the one you are married to right now. This anachronism introduces a host of problems that lay the groundwork for a stressed relationship. Since complications in relationships are a reason for male low libido, it is not advisable to let issues remain unresolved for too long.
Begin by accepting her for who she is right now. Don’t cling desperately to all those things that you used to like about her. Instead, look at ways in which she has blossomed and be appreciative. However, if things seem out of hand, you can seek help from a professional marriage counselor.
The bottom line is that low sex drive is not a severe problem unless you do nothing about it. The first course of action is to self-reflect on the reasons why your sex drive is taking a hit. Not all the reasons above may apply to you, but you will find that some reasons have a particularly strong hold over a drop in your sex life. So, initiate the necessary changes, a step at a time.
It is advisable to seek counsel from experts. There are many courses of treatment available ranging from traditional western medicine to unconventional systems such as homeopathy and Ayurveda. Choose a system that works best for you and follow through. Low libido in men, whether due to psychological and/or physical reasons, is a manageable health condition. Start now, and don’t look back. You will begin to see the results of your efforts from day one.